i just wanna soil my oats bro
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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