70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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