I hate your face
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
