? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
