i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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