he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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