I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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