Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
