if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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