reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize