I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Acid is not a monday night drug
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
