No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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