At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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