I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
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