hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
