6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
the liver wants what the liver wants
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
