and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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