god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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