Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen

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(864): View more from South Carolina

I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?

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(402): View more from Nebraska

This gyro tastes like lonliness

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(304): View more from West Virginia

You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up

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(303): View more from Colorado

I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away

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(732): View more from New Jersey

because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think

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(720): View more from Colorado

my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy

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(360): View more from Washington

His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.

(206): View more from Washington

Does he smell like BBQ?

(360): View more from Washington

Inside and out.

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