tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize