We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
