I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
