So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
