i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize