My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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