Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i may or may not be watching the land before time
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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