how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
They are going to name an STD after you.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
