still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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