yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
