Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
