It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
youre lurking in front of me
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
