You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
