What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
