I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
