I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I have grass duct taped all over my body
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
