how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Randomize
