i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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