Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
