He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
