i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
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