RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
