i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
