She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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