I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
