Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
