To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
My dick has a subreddit
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
