How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Why is your signature on my underwear?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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