I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
