i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
