its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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