Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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