ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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