I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
