i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Randomize
