I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
