Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize