i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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