She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
