Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
