is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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