Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
