i'm lost and i look like a hooker
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize