so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
