I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
