party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Dignity is for republicans.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize