You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
