Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
