The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
