Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
