If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
