Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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