I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
