at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
