I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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