I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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