Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
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