Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
