I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
No...this little piggys going to the bar
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize