So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
only you would photoshop your dick
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
