Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
