with your own penis?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
