Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
